Cancer

Well, yesterday I found out that my grandmother has cancer. I found out from my uncle who told me and my sister when we were dropping off presents. I hate to go through this phase again. I think that Im going to find myself crying again on the daily basis. Its already starting, and I really dont want to go through that whole thing again.

Sometimes I feel as if God hates me. It seems like he hates me. First my grandmother dies, then my family falls apart, then my grandpa moves out, then my cousin swears he's going to kill himself. Now this!

Why is this happening. My life is going downhill from what I thought used to be great, and fun. I know I cant ever have that again, but I try to be a better person. So why does it seem like I try, and try and nothing works. Right when I think that life is good, I get swooped into this huge whirlwind of mishapps.

I guess it hurts so much, because it makes me feel so alone. Even though I know all these other people are going through the same thing, I feel different. Its like Im alone in this world. So I burry myself with studying, and work, and everything else to get my mind off of it.

Then in the end I'm still the unhappiest person ever. So wht does this happen?

Why am I even doing this, I know no ones going to read this anyway.